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I told the rest of the group about going back into my memories, reminding them of that time a few days ago when my former me woke up in my body. That time, I'd only been an observer back in her time; this time, I was my current self in her body. As I told them about it, I realized that when I came back, I was in a different place than I'd left, and it was likely that old-me had been in my body again this time. I don't know why the greater transfer happened this time, nor why, if this was the first time it happened for her, she was so disconcerted the second time (for her, first time for me). We talked about what had happened, about time travel in general, which seems to be possible, given how Jack was seen by some Orem of long-ago when we were under the featureless plains.
Then I told them about the conversation with Murr. Again, there were lots of theories, but little hard evidence as to what is going on. Cor said that the kathel had told him that Thymelixsen had left his mate behind before, and that Thymelixsen had been contacted by his mate, and Thymelixsen had been the only one contacted, which Cor thought might mean Murr was, or will be, Thymelixsen's mate. But perhaps not. Cor also said the kathel told him that Thymelixsen would betray us to bring his mate back, which is disturbing.
I told them what Murr had said about the bionlear, and Jack thought that perhaps the bionlear was how the gods had originally separated from the rainbow all-ness, which is interesting, and sounds plausible to me, though I suppose it's all theoretical. (Though how the rainbows can be all and everything with such a being as the bionlear always and forever separate from it/them is an interesting question too.)
Cor pointed out that if Murr had gone over the outer edge already, then she wouldn't be here, and would be in history. I think it was later that Cor said she could be now part of the all-ness of rainbow, which fit with how she was talking with me, anyway.
Cor said that time is part of the trick to keep the rainbows out of the roots, since for them, everything all the time is how things are, rather than stretched out over time, the way we're used to.
He also said that it might not be necessary to roll up all the thread, because that could mean that's necessary to become an edgewalker, or to go over the edge (to the rainbows) as a whole, filling whatever hole in the all-ness that each of us forms. I suppose, then, that Thymelixsen is the only other one of us who might have this rolling up of threads, since Ovahon and Human have all their life in one chunk, all together.
There was a lot of discussion of implication and theory, but eventually we got back to the question of what our plan is next, whether we're going to Wanderhold now. We decided that it would be useful for all of us to have fetishes made by Thymelixsen, since then it would be easier to find each other, as well as the help that they give. It would take four hours for him to make fetishes for the rest of us (Cor already had an active one), and Cor said he needed to find a place where the kathel had killed a gatherer so he could talk with the other him he'd talked with before. So he and May went to find a site while Thymelixsen cast. Jack practiced something while I stayed on watch, trying not to find any sense of the familiar.
Cor and May came back a couple of hours later. Cor had been successful, and found his other self. However, this wasn't a future or past self, like I'd seen, but an alternate self, one formed when Cor had made a different choice at a turning point before now (to become a blessed of Death, I suppose, or something similar). Cor B had been beyond the Veil longer, and gone to Wanderhold and back, but was not at the edge yet. (I wonder whether he was with a group or alone...) Cor B thought that he might fail, and go over the edge. However, if enough of the hims succeeded, it would be ok. Some of him were more important than the others, and Cor B seemed to think that Cor was important. He warned Cor that in Wanderhold, he needed to be cold like him, lest he get lost in the shiny and warm. He also said that this was not a good place to get closer to the lord of death, because the rainbows could use him and his new connection to get at Death, who is the one who has kept the rainbows from the roots as much as they have been. When Cor gets to the edge, all of the hims will be there (but this was not the same as rolling up the threads). Apparently Cor B had fought the kathel, but not severed his arm, and the kathel had told him the same sorts of things he'd told Cor. Cor asked about Thymelixsen and Murr, and Cor B said that Murr could have been one of the Thymelixsens who went over the edge and failed (though that doesn't really answer why Thymelixsen would be a human woman...). Cor B said that all choices are made, and you choose which is you. If enough of the rope holds, the rope holds, though losing part of themselves, becoming weaker. Cor B also said that there is a safe place in the city that has to do with another version of the god of Death, that would be safer at least for Cor.
Then I told them about the conversation with Murr. Again, there were lots of theories, but little hard evidence as to what is going on. Cor said that the kathel had told him that Thymelixsen had left his mate behind before, and that Thymelixsen had been contacted by his mate, and Thymelixsen had been the only one contacted, which Cor thought might mean Murr was, or will be, Thymelixsen's mate. But perhaps not. Cor also said the kathel told him that Thymelixsen would betray us to bring his mate back, which is disturbing.
I told them what Murr had said about the bionlear, and Jack thought that perhaps the bionlear was how the gods had originally separated from the rainbow all-ness, which is interesting, and sounds plausible to me, though I suppose it's all theoretical. (Though how the rainbows can be all and everything with such a being as the bionlear always and forever separate from it/them is an interesting question too.)
Cor pointed out that if Murr had gone over the outer edge already, then she wouldn't be here, and would be in history. I think it was later that Cor said she could be now part of the all-ness of rainbow, which fit with how she was talking with me, anyway.
Cor said that time is part of the trick to keep the rainbows out of the roots, since for them, everything all the time is how things are, rather than stretched out over time, the way we're used to.
He also said that it might not be necessary to roll up all the thread, because that could mean that's necessary to become an edgewalker, or to go over the edge (to the rainbows) as a whole, filling whatever hole in the all-ness that each of us forms. I suppose, then, that Thymelixsen is the only other one of us who might have this rolling up of threads, since Ovahon and Human have all their life in one chunk, all together.
There was a lot of discussion of implication and theory, but eventually we got back to the question of what our plan is next, whether we're going to Wanderhold now. We decided that it would be useful for all of us to have fetishes made by Thymelixsen, since then it would be easier to find each other, as well as the help that they give. It would take four hours for him to make fetishes for the rest of us (Cor already had an active one), and Cor said he needed to find a place where the kathel had killed a gatherer so he could talk with the other him he'd talked with before. So he and May went to find a site while Thymelixsen cast. Jack practiced something while I stayed on watch, trying not to find any sense of the familiar.
Cor and May came back a couple of hours later. Cor had been successful, and found his other self. However, this wasn't a future or past self, like I'd seen, but an alternate self, one formed when Cor had made a different choice at a turning point before now (to become a blessed of Death, I suppose, or something similar). Cor B had been beyond the Veil longer, and gone to Wanderhold and back, but was not at the edge yet. (I wonder whether he was with a group or alone...) Cor B thought that he might fail, and go over the edge. However, if enough of the hims succeeded, it would be ok. Some of him were more important than the others, and Cor B seemed to think that Cor was important. He warned Cor that in Wanderhold, he needed to be cold like him, lest he get lost in the shiny and warm. He also said that this was not a good place to get closer to the lord of death, because the rainbows could use him and his new connection to get at Death, who is the one who has kept the rainbows from the roots as much as they have been. When Cor gets to the edge, all of the hims will be there (but this was not the same as rolling up the threads). Apparently Cor B had fought the kathel, but not severed his arm, and the kathel had told him the same sorts of things he'd told Cor. Cor asked about Thymelixsen and Murr, and Cor B said that Murr could have been one of the Thymelixsens who went over the edge and failed (though that doesn't really answer why Thymelixsen would be a human woman...). Cor B said that all choices are made, and you choose which is you. If enough of the rope holds, the rope holds, though losing part of themselves, becoming weaker. Cor B also said that there is a safe place in the city that has to do with another version of the god of Death, that would be safer at least for Cor.
