Feb. 23rd, 2010

There was time to write in my journal before going to sleep. That and a good night's sleep helped a lot.

The surprise when I woke up was that May was there... reading my journal. Which is written in Elix, after all, not something she speaks, nor reads. Except that she was. Which made it clear that it wasn't the usual iteration May. I asked he about reading Elix, and she said she had known it a long time. I said that I'd rather she asked before reading, and held my hand out for it. I'm glad she didn't contest that. I did notice that it was in the part of the book about Bo's Point, when our May hadn't been along.

We talked about what she was doing here; there was a different feel than the times when people are quickly popping in and out, since she'd calmly helped herself to reading in my journal, which implied having a lot more time than usual between overlaps. I asked her what she was doing here, and she carefully replied, saying almost nothing, so I tried to be careful in giving out information myself. It felt strange, this verbal fancy footwork. She said that she'd come to check us out because of the potential of our group, something like that (again, not a random visitor). But she wouldn't say her name, nor any other details about herself. And then at some point she looked over my shoulder, and I saw our May return into her eyes. It was strange, that she'd had another May inside her.

I asked what had happened, and she said that she'd sensed some possibility energy coming, and had moved to get out of the way, which is when the other May took over. She was inside the whole time, watching the conversation. She woke herself up to return to control. Which is also strange, since I have no idea how she'd know that possibility energy would be coming, for one thing. So I asked if she'd found anything on her peregrinations last night. But all she described was going down to see the shrines in red, which looked interestingly different. Hrm.

Thymelixsen woke up, and Jack did too, but he stayed hiding under the covers. I went over to talk with him, see if I could help him regain some equanimity.

Thymelixsen and May looked at the ever-changing Arcoons on the bands holding Cor. I mentioned to Thymelixsen that May had been reading some of my journal, and he seemed surprised, and unsure I was telling the whole truth.

Cor woke up, feeling sore and hurt. I told him not to move, that the bands were helping him recover, and asked what had happened.

Cor said that his actualization was about a particular day he'd gone hunting. He went along doing the same things he'd done back then, bringing dolo back to town, but not trying to shoot the large dolo that had gotten away. There was a party in Bionlear's Skull, celebrating his hunt, and as part of that, he was brought for the first time to the acutal skull. He touched it as he had the first time. But this time, he thought about the bionlear, and thought at it "are you in there?" And suddenly he was in the bionlear's place with all the suns, which are apparently not suns at all, but roots seeds. He talked with the bionlear, and found that the Creators made them all at once, and there will be no more; the bionlear watches over them. The bionlear is the only one who is not part of the All. Cor said it was warm, but not hot, since it was during a rest time, and it wasn't like seeing the firsts: it wasn't the wrench to leave. Cor said he felt more himself, more all together. The bionlear said he'd done an interesting thing (and at some point told Cor to go back before his body died). Cor said that we're in the All, and there are lots of Alls, but this is the only one with roots. And all Alls begin and end. What matters is what happens inside, and what it ends with. So this All is the only one with Creators, who made the first world, used the trick, and made the roots. Which interested the bionlear, which is why the bionlear came to this All. No other All had roots or cracks like this. Cor asked if the roots existing and growing were good or bad in the bionlear's view, and the bionlear said that he can't die, in the roots, in the All, or outside the All. It doesn't matter to him, but because it's interesting, he wants to see what happens (though if it all happens at once, wouldn't he already know?), and that's why he's guarding the seeds. The bionlear said that Cor was in all places at once, and when he is at the edge, he will understand. And that's what being at the edge means. All Creators want the roots to grow, and we were created to want that too. But at the edge, there is place for us on both sides. Cor said that he planned to go from the edge back to the roots, since it is good for the roots. The bionlear wasn't sure, but he might make it. The bionlear also said that if there was too much All in the roots, it isn't good, but some All in the roots is actually good, because it makes things different from the rest of the All (which seems strange, given how it's about being All itself). So people blowing up over-All'd roots might be alright, and keeping out all the All might not be. But in the end, we have to do the things we think are good and the Creators suggest as likely best for the roots, working for balance. Cor said that he thinks the bionlear would like to see something interesting.

He didn't ask about the baby bionlear; someone thought that they might have happened because the bionlear was trapped there. And when the bionlear is in the roots, it forgets things. When Cor saw the bionlear this time, it was more itself.

Cor said that the bionlear said that how much is in an All when it ends matters. It's possible the bionlear was guarding the roots in the time before they grew, but they have already grown, so it's moot.

I asked 1827 to bring someone to check on Cor, since he seemed reasonably fine as he told us what had happened. 1827 brought a pink snake-headed being back. Cor apologized to it for breaking the scanning; he hadn't intended to do that. It said that it was fok, because it was informative and useful. Cor asked if it knew what he'd seen, but it only knew that Cor had dissociated, not information about the bionlear. It suggested that Cor not do that again. It said it was most unusual that this had happened.

I asked how this memory had been chosen for actualization, and it said that we do it, somehow.

It checked Cor, and said that he was only 30% reconnected, and he must stay until at least 70% connected, if not more. He said that there were other places in the city it would be possible that the process could go faster, with teams of entity specialists, rather than just itself, but Cor asked how long it would take, and it sounds like, with luck, today will be sufficient.

Thymelixsen asked about going with scanning teams, and it told him that they were assembling now, and he should go down if he wished to join them. He took 1827 with him, and a fetish he'd made during blue.

I asked about the actualization process, and it said that it gets even harder later. General actualization is at phase 7, and full actualization is at phase 10. This was not comforting. I did remember to ask about whether it would be acceptable to use my Blessings here, since at home it would not have been at all appropriate, and I was surprised to hear that it would be fine. That makes things much easier for us.

Jack was feeling better, but was not ready for the rigors of scanning, and certainly Cor couldn't be scanned. Thymelixsen had gone to work. May said she was willing to be scanned, and I said I was too, though it's a bit nerve-wracking. Cor told me to just go with whatever I'd done before, and it should be fine.

Right now, I'm hoping that by the time the scanning is over and I take time to recover from it, Cor will be reassociated enough to be able to go to the temple with me. Best laid plans...



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